Socastee.Com

August 16, 2004

I N  H O N O R  O F  S T U P I D  P E O P L E

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer - Do not use while sleeping. (Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos - You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap - "Directions - Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners - "Serving suggestion - Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) - "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron - "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine - "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid - "Warning - May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights - "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor - "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts - "Warning - contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts - "Instructions - Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3 - maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume - "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw - "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God ...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)